Post by chiii on May 13, 2012 18:44:00 GMT -5
Ol' chode is finally settled into his abode here in Las Vegas, so i decided that last night i would go out and about the city! i headed straight to the 4 queens for a lil texas hold em action,,sat down at a table with $60 and see where i could go with that. i arrived to the casino at about 6:30 got a corona with grenadine and sat down to play some poker. 2-4 pot limit is where i wound up,,,,so i was dealt hand after hand winning some losing some for a couple hours when i realized i was becoming a lil drunk from the corona and 151 and coke i had began drinking,,so at around 8:45 i notice that i am up over 10 times what i began with,,$620 dollars to be exact,,the button is coming to me so i will play one more hand and then go see what i can get into,,and wouldnt u fucking know i was dealt cowboys,,,all 7 other players pay the $4 dollars to see the flop so i limp in,,,flop comes k, 2, 2!! im loving this,,,with a check, then a bet of 32 dollars,,when it comes back to me in positon i raise anoter 32 to make it 64, 4 players stay in and call, the turn another freakin duece, player bets the pot $320 a call, a fold and i had to call,,,the river a KING of diamonds,,i cant believe im sitting in the 4 queens with 4 kings,,the nuts,,,player push me all in for 232 dollars i call,,,,flop the quads right in his face,,POT is mine,,1744 dollars ,,,i tip the deaLER $144 and leave the casino,,,with 1600 and a wide open city to explore i set out for adventure,,i step out the 4 queens and there is a gene simmons freak with his tounge out trying to get me to take a picture with him,,i hail a cab and i am off to the strip,,,,i get to the riviera hotel and casino pay the cabby and yelled yo holmes ,,smell ya later,,,,as i begin to walk in a beautiful woman ask me where i was staying,,,now my good friend eric mcginniss told me when a gurl asks this she is working,,,so i ask the attractive vixen how much would it cost to wipe me down,,she said 120,,i said ok,,so this beautiful profession working girl takes me to the side of the building and preforming an act of felatio like i have never experienced b4,,and right when i was,,for lack of better words,,about to get my rocks off,,the dumb durty whore punches me in the ball bag as hard as she could,,reached in my pocket took my wallet and started hauling ass,,,as i try to run after her,,,with my pants around my ankles,,which was not working at all,,i hear these two lil jet li lookin motherfuckers laughing, snapping pics and yelling,,,LAS VRGAS PENGUIN,,,,LAS VEGAS PENGUIN,,,this gets me irate so i pull up my pants and shove one into a smut peddling mexican,,as the other roundhouse kicked me right in the chin,,now i remember nothing after this,,,until a bus driver diving the late night duece downtown express bus stops to check on me,,,as he helps me up i catch a glance of my reflection in the bus window,,those two lil sklant eyed fucks had made my face look like a mix between cher's illegitimate bastard son in THE MASK, rocky dennis,,and the ba===bee ruth hey u guyssss retared fuck in the goonies,,,,i was in bad shape,,,,swollen lips broken nose,,lacerations above both eyes and on my forehead,,,10 times worse than the myrtle beach massacre,,in which nick bobo did not get the upper hand,,,,,so felipe,the bus driver,,gives me a free ride to treasure island where i watch one hell of a pirate ship show out front b4 i went inside got a room and slept for 2 complete days,,,,so i know it sounds like it wouldnt be fun,,but i had the time of my life and GODDAMN I LOVE LAS VEGAS!!!!! just please if u ever visit watch out for aisans and beware of the LAS VEGAS PENGUIN!!!!!
